He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
