woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
