you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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