just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
