i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
