Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
