And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
how drunk are you?
Several
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