Well apparently he's into motor boating.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
