I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
