with your own penis?
i think my tv is drunk
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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