does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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