Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I need water and some morals
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
how drunk are you?
Several
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
