your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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