please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
