No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
