Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
