I wish I could punch you in the face.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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