but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
