Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
