im drinking this country out of the recession.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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