three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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