We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
