i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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