Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
