For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
