The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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