im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
