i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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