He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
