You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
