So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
