I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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