somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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