I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
The air taste purple.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
