I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
