I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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