Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
