I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
