i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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