You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
When are your genitals available?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
