I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
