I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
