Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Floor bacon is actually really good
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
