okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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