He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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