Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
