If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
