So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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