I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
