Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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